Random Rants: On Everything

Here are the thoughts I had throughout the course of the day. Please be advised that these are just my thoughts, and are not law, nor advice, and they are subject to change by the minute.

1. I hope all the little white girls whose racist, Republican parents took them out of school so they wouldn’t have to hear President Obama’s speech on education grow up to marry Lil’ Trey Trey, complete with his Jordans, spinning wheels, and remote-controlled lamborghini chain hanging from his neck. I hope they have 8 black, ashy babies, 1 of whom is gay, who all start a movement to have Harvard University renamed, “Tupac Amaru Shakur University.”

2. Is it rude to say to a homeless man, “Hi, how are you?” I wasn’t trying to be rude or insensitive, that’s just how I greet everyone when I’m walking down the street. There happen to be quite a few homeless people in the street.

3. Take a risk. What’s the worst that could happen? You fail? So what. Get big.

4. Stop eating meat or you’re going to die.

5. Thursday night…..blame it on the Goose.

6. America sucks for not memorializing the anniversary of Hurricane Katrina like 9/11. That’s bullshit.

7. Anyone who says President Obama is the anti-christ is the devil.

8. Jay-Z is the devil. He is going to hell. Are you going with him? I hope he can get it right before Jesus comes back. I’d also like to mention that Jay-Z has fallen into the same category of rappers that he says is responsible for the death of hip-hop.

9. People who say they join greek fraternities or sororities for networking purposes are stupid.

10. People who join greek fraternities or sororities are stupid.

11. I’ve got work to do. I’m on my way….

12. I think I offended a gay man yesterday by offering to give him $2 when the cashier at Starbucks wouldn’t break his 100. I think he thought I was coming on to him. Guess you just can’t be nice to people in 2009.

13. Don’t chastise me for calling that middle-aged woman with her breasts hanging out, hollering at her baby daddy on her phone with a Lil’ Wayne ringtone ghetto. That bitch is ghetto! You don’t think we should say things like that in front of white people……? What, you don’t think they noticed?!

14. Why are greek organizations greek? Why not Latin or Hebrew?

15. Speaking of Greek, did you know that Jesus spoke Greek? Yep, it’s true. Read.

16. Women shouldn’t have certain jobs that are intended for men. I hate to see women police officers, construction workers, boxers/wrestlers, and especially sideline commentators. If we had a female President, I’d move to Afghanistan. Don’t let Tyra Banks have you singing, “I am woman, hear me roar!” Yeah, she has fortune and fame, but she always talks of having a family…..Go raise your kids, career woman. You may as well be a dead-beat dad. It takes a special kind of woman to work and be a great mom. They’re usually not the ones trying to prove that they can do everything men can. Know your role, and shut your mug!

17. Did everyone forget about Bush?! Why aren’t we stoning him???? Stop heckling my President during his speech, you racist S.O.B. Instead, grab your torch and pitch fork, and let’s go to Texas!

18. Please turn your ipod down before you attempt to speak to me. You’re hollering, sir.

19. Stop believing everything people tell you and/or have told you. Even your mother lies to you. Read a book. Hell, read two.

20. I’ve decided not to go to grad school. I don’t want the debt, it’s going to take too long, and my experience in college taught me that I can be more successful than everyone else without going to college. I have the internet and a library card. And God. I got accepted to “The Mecca of Black Education”, a school that people would give their pinky toe in exchange for admission without submitting my application on time, and without ever submitting an admissions essay. If it’s for me, I’ll have it.

21. Damn, Dad. That was selfish. You have to stop that. Consult your wife….she’s smarter than you are.

22. Why would you want to burn a bridge with ME? You’re gonna miss me when I’m gone.

23. Why don’t Muslims eat pork? Isn’t it because pigs are filthy creatures who eat slop? If that’s the case, why do they eat fish? Fish swim and eat where they defacate. Sometimes they eat their own feces. Do Muslims eat fish?

24. If I see one more Mexican baby screaming in Target, I’m going to call Immigration.

25. My dog does not play well with others. Let little Toodles come greet my dog if you want to, but understand that Toodles will surely die.

26. U Street never fails me. Teenage boys as gay as a parade, screaming crackheads, church choirs singing on the corner, musical instruments being played in exchange for a bite to eat, cheating spouses, good food, diverse culture, theological debates amongst the homeless. DC is great.

27. Nothing angers me more than when homos compare their struggle for equality with that of Blacks in America.

28. Thank God for Jesus.

29. My dog is going to buy me a house.

30. You’re right, men are simple. Men are simplistic, and women are over-analytical, which believe it or not, can create a hinderance for effective communication. Women write long, detailed, drawn-out e-mails and letters to their love interest or significant other. Men write a few sentences with everything they feel you need to know. When women want attention, they devise a plan to fool you with trickery in order to get a rise out of you. Men say two words that they know will get you worked up. Women go back and forth between styles, colors, and cuts of underwear to put on every single day. Men wear what’s clean…..sometimes. When women feel they’ve been hurt, they’ll cry, talk about it, consult their friends, and reconcile. Men just leave. Women talk about getting in shape and losing weight for years. Men just do it. Women want to be romanced. Men want sex….and food. Women will try to define an “unofficial relationship” based on how long they’ve been having sex. If men don’t clearly state that they’re in a relationship, they’re not going to behave like they are, regardless of what they tell you. Women thrive off of confrontation because it gets men to talk and express their feelings. Men avoid confrontation like they avoid fat girls. It makes sense. You just have to find a happy medium, which is as hard as Chinese arithmetic.

31. We get it, you’re gay. Take the flag down.

32. Why is everyone so hung up on the sexuality of celebs? Tyler Perry, Will Smith, Eddie Murphy, MJ, Queen Latifah, Diddy??? Who the hell cares? Their sexuality aint doin shit for you, and it’s not going to make them any less rich or successful. Let them live.

33. So what if Rick Ross was a C.O.? That nigga had to eat too. We glorify hustling so much that we forget that those who are true hustlers, (not the ones rappin about it) probably wouldn’t if they didn’t have to. Which brings me to my position on the Hip-Hop world, which because it has such a huge influence on my generation, deserves it’s own section in my blog:

34. If I hear another rapper and/or singer use the words swag, hustler, grown, VIP, independent, rims, black card, baller, diva, stunt, I/we run, Patron, Nuvo, paper, or rhyme models with bottles, or Gucci with Louis, I will surely lose it.

35. I’m curious as to what the new official liquor of the hip-hop commmunity will be after Patron, Ciroc, and Nuvo fade out. I’m hoping for Gentleman’s Jack. Maybe they could call it ‘Gentle Jack’. Nah, that’s gay.

36. If you don’t think Lil’ Wayne is beginning to fall off, you’re sadly mistaken. You can only be in outter space for so long before you have to come back down for air.

37. I’ll respect an artist when they stop rhyming about making it rain, and start rhyming about interest-bearing savings accounts.

38. Stop supporting artists who aren’t doing shit to help anyone other than themselves. Download! Download! Download! Why am I going to give you money and support your dreams of becoming a millionaire only for you to rap about how you can afford everything that I can’t? Mmmm, I’m good.That doesn’t do shit for me. And when I say this, I am not referring to the up and coming artists trying to break into the industry. Support them. But once they get there, demand more from them. If an artist contributes in some way to others less fortunate than themselves, I’m all for it. If not, what’s the purpose of you putting money in their pocket?

39. If you think Drake is going to be the one to revive hip-hop, you should probably jump off of a bridge. What makes him so different? His delivery? Ok, whatever, he’s still talking the same bullshit that everyone else is talking.

40. If you’re not up on Pac Div, you need to be. Period. And don’t steal from them, give them your money.

41. If you’re still debating whether Jay-Z or Lil’ Wayne is the better lyricist, please go buy a Stevie Wonder album. Who cares who’s better, the two of them along with 98% of commercial artists talk about the same thing. So what’s the real debate? Whose rhymes are more clever, witty, and thought-provoking, or who says it the best way? I’ll give you a hint, it’s not the former.

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  1. WOW, great post! Music Online

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