Girlfriends and Their Less Than Useful Datingship Advice

I’ve never been one to have a circle of girlfriends that I am open and discuss the most intimate details of my life with. That’s not to say that I prefer not to or just don’t have them, they’re just few and far between. Even my former best friend (who doesn’t yet know that she’s my former best friend) and I weren’t super tight. We were, but we weren’t. We were high school pals and bff’s up until about a year ago. But even during our bff dynasty, there were always certain details that I never would share with her. I lied about losing my virginity for 2 years because I didn’t want to hear her less than supportive opinion about who it was with. It just seems to me that this is the type of thing you should be able to tell your best girlfriend if no one else. But I digress….

As Valentine’s Day came and went this year, I was reminded of why I limit the involvement of my friends in my romantic life. Girls are emotional ass creatures who don’t always think very rationally or practically. Valentine’s Day has never been a big deal to me because I’ve never had a Valentine, not even when I was in a relationship. So why did I let the girly banter of my close (and not so close) girlfriends turn me into an emotional cupcake as soft as doctor’s cotton? Because I am a woman, who sometimes doesn’t think very rationally or practically. Nobody knows what truly goes on in my datingships but me and the man involved. So why would I consult someone who is biased and doesn’t have all the facts? That’s like presenting a case to a jury of someone else’s peers without including all the evidence. Doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. I’ve never needed the opinions of girls before because I am a grown-up who is able to make her own relationship (datingship) decisions. If I REALLY need help, I’ll just ask mom. She’s been through some shit and actually has valid and applicable advice to offer. Besides, nobody looks out for me like my mom, and I don’t think she’d lead me astray. I didn’t make a huge deal about it to my friend, but it definitely could’ve gone sour, which would’ve been ALL BAD.

A very new, but very dear girlfriend asked why me and the guy I’m seeing, who she met just once, aren’t in a relationship yet. Eh? Because we’re just not. She felt that the short amount of time that we had known each other and the even shorter amount of time that we’ve been seeing one another was sufficient enough for us to make a commitment to each other. If that wasn’t the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard in my freaking life, then I don’t know what is. Really? Is that how you feel? Well my dear, that’s not the way it is. There’s nothing wrong with him, and there’s nothing wrong with me. Will we ever be together? I don’t know, you’re gonna have to ask the Big Guy about that one, muffin.

Her very single and very lonely opinion just made things so much clearer to me. Don’t take datingship advice from women who don’t have sound advice to offer, especially if the concept of a successful relationship is foreign to them. So how did I come to the realization that I was being ridiculous? The same way I solve most of my problems: I mentally bitch-slapped myself and had a self-pep talk over a Jack and Coke. Problem solved.

This isn’t to say that I don’t love or need my girlfriends. This is just to say that I have learned to take what they say, evaluate it’s validity, and apply it accordingly as opposed to declaring it to be girl-law.

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