This is Not a Post About Sex.

So I’m stuck at work, horny as a mofo and can’t get sex or a certain someone off my brain. So, to humor myself and make it until the clock strikes 6pm, I thought to compile a list of all the ways and places that make the experience so exciting. Some are my own ideas, others I had some input on, so anyone reading shouldn’t think that I’ve checked each one off, but I certainly look forward to the opportunity 😉 I’m no Jezebel, but I feel like if I’m gonna do it, may as well have some fun with it. Feel free to add more if I (we’ve) missed any.

1. Morning sex

2. Middle of the night sex

3. After work sex

4. Birthday sex

5. Bad breath sex

6. Hair pullin sex

7. Kitchen sex

8. Drunk sex

9. Angry sex

10. Lunchtime rendezvous sex

11. Classroom sex

12. Back seat sex

13. Rainy day sex

14. Sweat my hair out sex

15. Underwater sex

16. Just brushed our teeth sex

17. Staircase sex

18. Snow day sex

19. Holiday sex

20. After-club sex

21. 90s R&B sex

22. Twisted sheet sex

23. Shower sex

24. Carpet sex

25. Repeat sex

26. Commercial break sex

27. After-movie sex

28. Can’t wait to get home and see my boo boo biscuit sex

29. Vacation sex

30. Make you want to eat a big ass sandwich after sex

31. Elevator sex

32. Make-up sex

32. Break-up sex

33. “Are you sleeping?” sex

34. New sheet sex

35. Hotel sex

36. Started out bad but got better sex

37. “I’ll make the tacos!” sex

38. In a skirt sex

39. In his shirt sex

40. Screw face sex

41. Cuz its Tuesday sex

42. Been sick all week but I’m better now sex

43. Don’t ever leave me sex

44. You’re on the remote and turning the TV volume up sex

45. Caught a cramp sex

46. Can’t find that other sock after sex

47. Bored sex

48. New lingerie sex

49. Only with you sex

50. I love you sex

*I’m posting this from my phone, so forgive any spelling/grammatical/spacing errors. I’ll edit later.*

    • Waldo.
    • July 1st, 2010

    Wow. I guess now I have a list to start checking off.

  1. Hehehe this is amazing! How about…
    51. Park bench sex
    52. Beach sex
    53. I’m not really interested but I’m SUPER horny sex
    54. Office sex
    55. After a long hard sweaty workout sex
    56. Boat sex
    57. Ass smacking sex
    58. Talking on the phone while having sex
    59. Public but not so public sex
    60. Forbidden sex

    • July 12th, 2010

    ….Your list seems pretty complete, to meee 😉

  2. This one may be too long to go on the list, but comes from personal and recent experience.

    61. “I’m about to leave for college and I really need to have some fun before I go” sex.

  3. Just stumbled across this and I LOVE IT, I think my favorite is “Are you sleeping?” sex. I’m going to have to use a couple of these myself!

  4. Here’s one more – Just so you won’t cheat sex

  5. I need to meet you.

  6. There is nothing on T.V. se.

  7. I got a couple.

    Sex in the bed while your friend is sleep in the bed next to you.

    Fun-Day Sunday Sex.

    Hump-Day Wednesday Sex.

    That was good, let’s do it again sex.

    • runronred
    • October 19th, 2010

    threesome with stranger in hotel sex

  8. Itching sex is goood too.

    • October 25th, 2010

    “Pity” sex…Having sex with someone, u somehow pity.

  9. A relative of angry sex, REVENGE sex… my best friend’s ex is still obsessed with him and has done some super wrong shit to him so he took her up on a little “We’re only friends (yeah, right!)” sex and tore her up… Problem is she loved it even more.

  10. let’s try a weird new position sex

    i really just wanted to sleep but you’re here now sex

    we know everyone can hear us but don’t care sex

    on my period so don’t actually stick it in sex

    just finished my period let’s get er done! sex

    only doing this so you’ll let me go back to sleep sex

    watching porn together sex

    those are just a few that i could think of that have happened to me recently. lol

    • goingslowly
    • December 20th, 2010

    haven’t seen each other for so long but we need to be quiet sex

    “the one that got away” sex

    sex before names sex

  11. I love it! I actually did lose a sock once after sex…seriosuly where did it go!!!!!!
    BUT may I add….sex toy sex!

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