Lessons in Keeping Her Happy

Women are weird, hard to please, and downright crazy. All of them. *ahem* I mean all of us. No man will ever completely understand any woman. Plain and simple. But to keep from going absolutely bananas while attempting to decipher the female race, there are a few things that can be done to keep us happy or at least quiet.

Lesson 1: Offer your opinion about her appearance.

Of course women get their hair and nails done, and shop for nice clothes and things to make themselves feel good about their appearance. But it’s no secret that women also dress for men, especially the men who they’d like to gain the interest of. Why? Women like attention. It’s fun to shop for shoes and coordinate cute little outfits and take pictures, but it makes it even better to know that someone else notices and appreciates your efforts to be fabulous. For this reason, we want to know what you think……. Honestly. This is not a trap. If you’re not feeling her paisley peep-toed pumps, it’s actually ok to tell her. If you’re not a fan of foreign-grown hair, cut her weave out. She won’t be upset. That may be a stretch, but you can actually ask her to wear her natural hair, and chances are, she’ll do it. If she’s putting on weight, knock the cupcake out of her hand and replace it with a jumprope. She’ll thank you later.

Lesson 2: Pretend to like her cooking.

Most women aspire to be somewhat domestically inclined, even if they know that they’re the furthest thing from Susie Homemaker. Now they say that a way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, but if she’s slacking, drop some hints. Tell her that her meal is scrumptious, then throw all kind  sauce on it. Sauce makes everything better and she knows this. Doesn’t matter what kind. BBQ sauce, hot sauce, ranch dressing, soy sauce, whatever. If all of her meals require the addition of sauce from your perspective, she’ll eventually give up and order out. But at least you’ll spare her feelings, thus earning additional panty points. This way, everybody wins.

Lesson 3: Plan a date.

Women are planners. Especially women named Jerica. We coordinate most things in a datingship/relationship. What we’re gonna do, what time we’re leaving, what we’re gonna eat, and whether or not there will be sex. Although some of us thrive on being in control, sometimes we want to know that you’re not just going along because it will make us happy. We have to know that you want to spend time with us too. So, switch it up, and plan a good old-fashioned date. Pre-meditated dates make women feel special. If its someone that you’ve been seeing for a little while, take what you know about her and plan something that shows you had her in mind when putting it all together. You choose the day, venue, activity, and after-plans. You pick her up, date her, drop her off, and kiss her goodnight. The end.

Lesson 4: Play with her hair when you have pillow talk.

I can’t stand for people to touch my hair or any other area of my person. For this reason, I can’t explain why I love for my guy to play with my hair. I guess it makes me feel pretty? I don’t really know, but I can’t get enough of it. Guys don’t touch or play with hair that’s funny looking. Maybe I like it for the same reason that I think a little hair pulling is necessary at other times. I’ve even had a man help me take my braids out so I could study for an exam the next day. True story.

Lesson 5: Learn to love her shows and movies.

I like to watch things that neither the ordinary woman nor man would regularly tune to. I like old movies and TV shows, and movies of most genres. For example, my all-time favorite TV show is I Love Lucy. I’m aware that there were no Black people, but that in my eyes, was the best damn show ever. Other top shows include House, Law & Order, Martin, The Boondocks, and of course Family Guy. I’m also a pretty big movie buff. Haven’t found anyone other than my mom who will sit through 7 Brides for 7 Brothers, Meet Me in St. Louis, AND The Little Mermaid all in the same day. Whoever manages to do that will be getting tacos that night. If you can sit through a short 2-hour movie that you don’t care to see one night, we’ll be much more willing to watch ESPN every other night. And morning. Even though the morning highlights are exactly the same as the highlights from the night before. Exactly. The. Same.

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    • you know who it is
    • July 29th, 2010

    I like it. I love it. Want more of it.

  1. You right. ESPN does rerun itself..in a matter of minutes…but there is something soothing about having all those stats run across the bottom of the screen.

  1. October 31st, 2010

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