Random Rants: When at work, I may just…

I am so grateful to have my job, but I have to tell you, it certainly tries my patience some days…….most days. So, to get through my shift, I do and say things to help me cope with the stressors that are upper management. As such, below is a list of things I either do or think about doing to have some sense of personal satisfaction. When at work, I may just…

1. Eat your food out of the refrigerator. Not leftovers, only packaged food.

2. Pass gas in your office to speed up whatever conversation I don’t feel is necessary to my work day.

3. Keep the key to the thermostat locked in my desk so the fat chicks don’t freeze me to death.

4. Deposit any unwanted busy work into the shredder.

5. Tell the IT guy that you made derrogatory comments about his sexual preference in order to have my computer free from any website blocks.

6. Clock in, go to brunch, come back, and clock out.

7. Check your email to see how much ish you’ve been talking about me to the other duck in the office.

8. Direct anyone that I don’t want to be bothered with to your office and give them your email address.

9. Send you the “Stop sending me a reminder email telling me to do the same thing I’ve done every Monday since I’ve been here” email.

10. Pass notes to the person being interviewed to warn him of the trolls that dwell here.

11. Take frequent moron breaks to process the moronic activity I encounter throughout the day. This usually involves a walk to FroZen Yo and/or Target

12. Sign up for training classes that couldn’t be more irrelevant to my position in order to escape for a day.

13. Respond to the email you sent first thing this morning at the end of the day, on my way out the door. Let that be a lesson to you. Stop emailing me.

14. Take office supplies home that I’ll never use, just to spite you. When I get home, EVERYTHING is going to have a label on it thanks to my new labelmaker.

15. Spend my entire day, including overtime, blogging about why my job is the pits.

  1. makes me want to drink alchoholic beverages

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