What Grinds My Gears: Got a Whole List

Whenever I’m unable to come up with a piece that I think is good enough to post to this blog, I go through the plethora of drafts to see if there’s anything common to all of them that I can use to write about. This time around, I had a lot of drafts about things that were bothering me at the time that I wrote them. Some old, some new, some here, some there. Anywho, behold my list of random things that grind my gears:

1. Thick girls. When are they going out of style? We non-plus-size, non-booty holders are ready to make a come-back!

2. Stores in the outlet mall that aren’t outlets. If I want regularly priced clothes, I’ll go to the regular mall.

3. Fast food employees that forget to put my sauce in the bag. Don’t forget the sauce for my chicken nuggets, or I’ll burn this place down.

4. Fat people who wear scrubs…….I’m judging you and so is the rest of the world.

5. Bartenders that ask for tips. I WAS going to leave you a tip on my credit card when I closed my tab, but now I’m just going to flip you a nickel, you greedy prick. In fact, I should crack your mofo forehead just for disrespecting me like that.

6. Bartenders that refuse to serve me because my California ID has a Maryland address. Lady, I will ruin your life tonight if you don’t fix that Jack and Coke like I asked you to. Word? The DMV wouldn’t print an ID like this? DO YOU WORK FOR THE CALIFORNIA DEPARTMENT OF MOTOR VEHICLES???

7. Female friends of my male roommate that would be in the bathroom in the morning when I’m trying to get ready for work. Ma’am, I need you to take your ho bath at home, I’m on a schedule here.

8. TSA officers that won’t let me take my non-liquid hair care products in my carry-on. Is this really a matter of national security, sir? You think I’m gonna grease somebody to death if they don’t give me command of the plane?

9. Humidity. I’m a Black girl with Black girl hair. The end.

10. People who chew with their mouths open and/or make noise when they eat.

11. Football season.

12. How the last half of my gas tank goes faster than a freshly broken twenty dollar bill.

13. Cat calls and lousy pick-up lines: “The color combination you have on would make good wedding colors.”

14. Children kicking and screaming, people coughing and sneezing, endless chatter, odorly elderly, sub-zero temperatures, overpriced snacks…….welcome to flight 556 with non-stop service to Los Angeles. 

15. My emotional rant during a black out this summer:

As if today couldn’t get any worse, the power just went out. No TV, no music, no phone charger. Just me alone with my thoughts. Scary. I often create distractions so I don’t have to focus on the things that take me out of my comfort zone, and to have them all stripped away without my consent has me feeling unglued. Sure there are other ways to occupy my time without the use of electronics, but all of the alternatives force me to think. Not to sound like the dumb-dumb who doesn’t wanna think and just wants to watch TV, but unfortunately for me, all I can think about is the one thing that I’m trying to escape. Even now as I’m writing, I’m subject to the captivity of my mind and what it can’t seem to stop talking about. How weird is that, considering this is supposed to be a way for me to constructively occupy my time and take my thoughts away from my troubles. Writing is therapeutic. Well, its supposed to be. I’m not feeling the healing. I’m feeling the manifestation of unwanted emotion. Its been about half an hour now, and I’m still without electricity. I’m still without power. No electricity. No power.

  1. No trackbacks yet.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: