Top 5 Things to Know Before You Date Him Exclusively

As women, it is our responsibility to pick up on clues about a guy to learn who he is and what kind of mate he will be. It’s very easy to have the long talks on the phone and go on awkward let-‘s-get-to-know-each-other-dates. But all you will learn during these encounters is what he wants you to know. Nothing more, nothing less. You learn that at times he can be considerate and chivalrous, and probably has a good heart. You may also learn that he’s selfish and petty, and tries to impress you way too much. If you desire to know more about a guy because you may truly be interested in moving forward in an exclusive and romantic capacity, you have to pay attention to what he does when he thinks you’re not paying attention. Am I the relationship expert? No way. These are just a few questions I ask myself about him that I have found to be useful:

1. What kind of company does he keep?

This first clue is probably the most obvious of the 5, but it still allows you to pick up on things that he may not ordinarily disclose to you. I don’t hang out with foolish and petty people because I don’t see myself as wanting to dwell on being neither foolish nor petty. I don’t hang out with homosexuals because I’m against homosexuality. I don’t hang with whores because I’m not a whore. One of the biggest life lessons that I’ve learned over and over again is that if the company I keep isn’t contributing to me being a better person, even when I’m not making an effort to be the best me that I can, I shouldn’t be around those people. If your guy is surrounding himself with people doing the same old stuff, he’s never going to be able to break away from the pack and do things that actually make sense. He may not be the biggest whore in the group, but I can guarantee you that they won’t discourage his whore-ish behavior. If they are a group of pretentious assholes, and your guy tells you he’s the only one that’s different from his friends, chances are he’s a pretentious liar of an asshole.

2. Is he over-protective of his sister?

Normally, a woman would want to know how her suitor treats his mother in order to gauge how he would treat his mate. This test is a sure fail every time. In my 25 years, I’ve only met one man who has not treated his mother well, and this includes the guys who have crackheads for mothers. A guy will usually always treat his mother well, especially if she’s a single parent, and especially if he doesn’t have a comparable relationship with his father. If you want to know how men treat the women in their lives, take a look at how he treats his sister. If he is over-protective of her, chances are he’s a promiscuous womanizer. These are the guys that have had many women in their beds, and try to protect their sisters from men such as themselves. The brother who loves his sister, has her back, but let’s her breathe trusts her to make good choices, in spite of the elements around her. He knows that there are slutty guys out there that may prey on his sibling, but he is comforted by the trust that he has in her, and will respect her as a woman. If he respects his sister as a woman, he’ll respect his woman as his woman.

3. Why does he like his favorite sports team more than all the rest?

Personally, I don’t trust any Cowboys fans that reside in Washington, D.C., and believe you me, there are a whole lot of them. My best guess is that about 75% of Dallas fans have no true ties to Dallas, to  Texas, to excessively fried foods, or to any member of the team. The reason they love the Cowboys, is because they have no other way to show the utmost disrespect to and disdain for Washington’s home team, the Redskins. They just have a desire to be different for the sake of being different. In my eyes, this translates to an insecurity. People who are different than the norm don’t choose to be, they just are. The ones who try to be different for the sake of being unique are insecure and desire acceptance. I have no doubt in my mind that these Cowboys fans without ties to Texas who reside in D.C. may be some of the same people who wear sunglasses in the club, pledge Greek, and buy attire with overwhelming Gucci symbols ALL OVER them. Instead, try a man who favors his home team, whoever they may be, or favors a particular player that isn’t Lebron James. If your boo boo biscuit is loyal to a team, he better have a damn good reason!

4. Is his favorite drink one that has pineapple juice in it?

I think I’ve made it pretty evident in previous posts that I don’t like men who have questionable masculinity. If we’re out having drinks and he and I both order drinks that come with the same pineapple and cherry garnish, there’s a big problem. Huge. Furthermore, if he orders something like Grand Marnier with pineapple juice, a fruit flavored liquor with the sweetest of juices, I have to question how much bitchassness he’s working with. Again, this is not an occassional drink that I’m referring to, I’m talking about his go-to drink, just as mine is Jack and Coke all day, every day. Now don’t get me wrong. Pineapple juice is a very tasty treat that nature has provided us, and it doesn’t make any man less of a man to drink it. It’s good for you. But if you’re going to taint its goodness with alcohol, at least put some gin in that mofo!

5.  Does he sit through your weekend chick-show marathons?

Granted, I have previously stated that any man who can learn to watch my favorite TV shows and movies is a winner in my book. However, I’m referring to the all day marathons of America’s Next Top Model, Real Housewives of Everywhere, Say Yes to The Dress and anything else on Oxygen and/or Lifetime. Some women might appreciate a guy who will sit quietly while you watch Eva freak out about her tarantula photo shoot for the 17th time, but not me. I might not mind it too much the first time since my control over the TV is always limited. But at  some point, I’m going to ask if there’s something else he should be doing other than being up under me all damn day. Better yet, at what point is he going to finally speak up and ask  to have his balls back your permission to watch something else? I don’t want my man to be the girlfriend I can lay in pajamas with all day while he offers his opinion that NeNe is the fiercest housewife. Go grill something, mow something, or fix something.

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  1. props for a funny/thoughtful blog, you’re still full of shit (in a friendly fire sort of way : ) …the cowboys. i’m from texas. they aren’t my favorite team, so i’m in no way defending them – i am defending the d.c. men that love them though – give them a break! are you kidding? lol, this is really a deeper issued though – give every guy a break on whatever fucked up thing says or does because usually there’s a good reason and that’s what’s fun and challenging about a friendship/relationship is discovering the REAL person! now of course if he’s already wearing sunglasses in the club completely disregard this comment!!! 🙂

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