That Belt is Mighty Notchy!

I used to be one of those people who felt entitled to know how many sexual partners the guy I was dating had before me. I felt that it was a matter of determining if he was promiscuous, unhealthy, and/or what value I really had in his life. I’ve learned all of that to be a bunch of bullshit. The time of my life where I inquired about his belt notches was also a time when I was going through his cell phone, getting in my feelings about any friendship he may have with a woman, and doing all the other dumb things that women do when they are insecure and suspicious of their guy. Truth be told, nothing good will ever come of him answering that question that you honestly don’t want to know the answer to. Knowing how many notches he has in his belt is only going to piss you off because each guy’s answer falls into one of the following categories:

A. He’s (allegedly) had too many to count

B. He’s lying because he knows he’s had more than you’ll approve of

C. He’s lying because he feels inexperienced for his age

D. He’s going to decline to answer, because it’s none of your damn business.

I have grown to respect the man who chooses option ‘D’. I feel that at this stage in my life, there is certain information that serves no real purpose to me or relationship with a guy I’m seeing. I’ve also learned that its best not to sweat the small things and go digging for confrontation. Many of my womanly counterparts will surely disagree with my thinking, but I just don’t see what benefit could possibly come of any woman asking her man such a private, intrusive, and useless question. When the nitty comes down to the gritty, asking a person how many sexual partners they’ve had is the MOST disrespectful and MOST personal question you could ever ask someone, in my opinion. To me, that question is just as inappropriate as asking your grandma if she gives head. Not anything I want to think about.

What’s funny is that most women who receive an answer to their question do nothing with the information, even if its not what they were hoping to hear. If a woman is attracted to a man, thinks he’s great company, and likes the way he treats her, do you think she’s going to throw up her deuces when he tells her that she’s notch number 45? I’m going to say no. Most will shrug it off, say it’s in their nature as men, and cross fingers in hopes that number 46 is notched sometime after we’re long gone.

On the converse, if a man were to ask his gal that same dreaded question, he may label her and give her a sack of rocks to kick if she averages more than 2 partners a year (or so).  Side note: I didn’t realize that men passed judgement based on the ‘average’ number of guys she’s been with in a year’s time. A guy once broke down the math to me. He said that since I lost my virginity at 18, and I was 23 (at the time), I was entitled to have reasonably been with about 7 guys in that 5 year span without being considered a ho. By his math, it should have been 10, but he shaved off 3 allowances, because I was in a relationship for a few years. Some would disagree with my friend’s thinking and say that 10 different sexual partners is totally unacceptable and is borderline Superhead status.

The point is, whether I’ve been with 2 or 12, I don’t think a guy that I’m exclusive with wants any information having to do with me having sex with a man other than himself. Doesn’t paint a great picture, and nothing productive or positive will come of it. So, the best thing to do is be safe with each and every person you choose, and avoid asking the silly shit.

  1. give me now

  2. great one

  3. ah

  4. one can argue that it can go both ways

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