Where to Take a Date in DC

I don’t know any woman who doesn’t like to go on dates, even if not on a regular basis. I think it’s a well known fact that we are emotional creatures, and love to be romanced. No woman who will ever tire of being swept off her feet. Every now and then, its nice to get away from the traditional dinner and a movie, bowling, etc. and do something different and exciting. I appreciate a night in or a visit to the local sports bar just as much as the next gal, but if I can’t ever do anything outside of the norm, chances are I’ll get bored. Its not only important to do something different from time to time, but its just as important that you are able to enjoy doing these things with the person you enjoy spending your time with. Its not enough that you’d go along to make me happy, because I can guarantee that if you’re not having a good time, your attitude will show and spoil the evening. Then we’re both pissed. 

So, I have compiled a list of ideas for somewhat-out-of-the-box dates that I’ve either planned with someone or would like to do myself. The first five are dates that I planned and took my last guy on. I needed reinforcements for this one, so a couple are not my own ideas, but those of my girlfriends. It was so interesting to see how women responded when I asked about the cool dates they’ve been on. Most of the date reflections were almost non-existent, and with a bitter outlook. Evidently, I’m not the only one who would like to have a guy plan something for her based on what he knows about her in order to see her happy. Custom-planned dates go a long way because the thought that has to go into them says a lot about how a guy views his gal, even if there isn’t a whole lot of money going into it. Well, here it is:

1. Picnic on the mall.

I haven’t been on a picnic on the Mall, but I did take my last guy to the Lincoln Monument for a moonlight picnic a few years back. The way the monuments are lit up at night really set the scene for a very romantic evening. We got hot chocolate (hot apple cider for me), stopped at Fuddruckers, and ate our food on a blanket in front of the reflecting pool. This probably would’ve been executed a little better if we weren’t being bitch-slapped with Mother Nature’s icy-cold hand, but it was still a great time, and we probably would’ve stayed longer if it weren’t so cold.

2. Ice skating in the sculpture garden.

I love to ice skate. I’m no Michelle Kwan, but I do pretty well on my blades and try to go at least once every winter. There are a couple of places that you can go to ice skate in the metro area, but I particularly enjoy the scenery of an afternoon at the Sculpture Garden on the Mall. Because its downtown, there are plenty of places to eat afterward, and other after-skating activities to do that are close by. Not only is it fun, but it’s usually pretty cheap, maybe $10 or so.

3. Museum tour.

Not only do I feel it imperative to see all the historical sights that the Nation’s Capital has to offer when you’re a resident of the area, but it’s actually a pretty neat thing to do with great company. Even if you’re not a huge museum buff, there’s usually something to intrigue everyone, regardless of what your interests are. Walking through museums is a great time to talk and get to know someone, because your attention isn’t constantly on something else as it would be during a movie. If nothing else, they’re free!

4. Paddle boating.

Best $8 date I’ve ever been on. There are paddle boats for rent downtown, where you can paddle in the Tidal Basin around the Jefferson memorial. If you don’t mind a light workout, this is another prime opportunity to talk, take some pictures, take in the great weather, and visit a historical site in a different way.

5. Dinner on the Odyssey/Spirit of Washington.

Dinner cruises are a nice way to have a different type of dining experience. if you’re not a fan of the cheesy singers and dancers after the meal, the front of the boat provides a very intimate and romantic setting to talk and take in the view of the DC skyline lit up against the Potomac. Besides, if you’ve ever been to a club in DC, you’d know that ladies like to get dressed up. Very rarely do we get to break out a semi-formal cocktail dress, go all out with hair and make-up, and feel like a princess for the night.

6. National Harbor.

If nothing else, the National Harbor provides a different environment to do the things that you would normally do on a date, and adds a touch of romanticism. Maybe its the water? Either way, dinner, shopping, entertainment, all rolled into one little isle. There’s always something going on at The Gaylord Hotel, from indoor snow at Christmas to Cirque du Soleil, to the many restaurants they have to offer. I wouldn’t mind a traditional dinner and movie date if we were at the Harbor.

7. Aquarium.

Daytime dates are A-ok with me. A nice activity folowed by lunch, or another activity is all good in my book, especially since I’m not one to atay up or out late if it doesn’t involve loud music, over-priced liquor, and grinding on strangers. The aquarium is cool. I haven’t been to the one in DC yet, but the aquarium in Baltimore is awesome. I don’t know why there will always be a part of us that never wants to grow up, but the children in us like to experience the interaction with the marine life, and the aquarium is the perfect place to let your inner Bebe kid run free. Again, there’s plenty to talk about, and nothing that takes your attention for extended periods of time., which opens the door for great conversation.

8. Zoo.

The zoo is like the aquarium on steroids. If you can’t take pictures like a flamingo with the flamingoes, admire the humping lions, and question why there are no animals in most parts of the damn zoo, then maybe you just don’t believe in fun. Or maybe I have a different idea of what fun is because I grew up in the suburbs where we would often go to Wal-Mart after the $1 movie to spend the rest of the evening. Either way, chicks like the zoo. There’s plenty of room to play, be silly, and enjoy the company of your companion.

9. Kennedy Center.

If you can’t afford (or just don’t like) the Opera, The Symphony Orchestra, or Mamma Mia!, there are several other stages and a plethora of displays of artistic expressions that you can enjoy. If you go on the weekend, there are free performances that you can see that are in my opinion, EXCELLENT. And, they’re open 365 days a year. That’s every day. Even if you’re not a huge fan of the arts, its nice to see something different every now and then that doesn’t involve Chris Brown being chased for 32 city blocks, drunk guys stealing mike Tyson’s pet tiger, or Tyler Perry giving family life lessons as a cross-dressing senior citizen.

10. Winery.

This is something that I haven’t experienced, but I can imagine that it would be great fun, and I’d love to do it. I REPEAT: I WOULD LOVE TO DO IT (THIS IS DIRECTED AT NOBODY IN PARTICULAR, BUT IF YOU’VE REAPED THE BENEFITS OF ME SLAVING OVER YOUR STOVE SEVERAL TIMES WITHIN THE LAST FEW MONTHS AND WATCHED THE SAME THING OVER AND OVER AGAIN ON NBATV WHILE I MISSED NEW EPISODES OF HOUSE, ALL  IN ORDER TO MAKE SURE THAT YOU CAN GO TO BED HAPPY, AND I DO MEAN HAPPY, PLEASE TAKE NOTE. ESPECIALLY IF YOU’RE AFRICAN. AND LIKE BASKETBALL). My former roommate took a date to a winery in Virginia where they took a tour, had lunch, and made their own wine. I mean, who doesn’t want to learn about and taste wine on a date?! Especially if you learn which foods to pair the different kinds of wine with. I’d probably give this one a thumbs up. If I ever went. Just sayin.

11. Horseback riding in Rock Creek Park.

When I say horseback riding, I don’t mean Seabiscuit-style equestrian races, I mean a slow trail ride through the park. Again, something totally different that most people wouldn’t think is available to do in the city. Even if you’ve never been on a horse before, a trail ride can be mastered by even the most novice of riders. How about horseback riding, and then a picnic in the park under a tree, by a stream? By the way, Rock Creek Park is HUGE. There are several secluded places to go, and enjoy the company of your date without being disturbed by large crowds. If you’re still there at dusk, you can see the deer come out to eat as you drive by. Very cool.

What Grinds My Gears: Got a Whole List

Whenever I’m unable to come up with a piece that I think is good enough to post to this blog, I go through the plethora of drafts to see if there’s anything common to all of them that I can use to write about. This time around, I had a lot of drafts about things that were bothering me at the time that I wrote them. Some old, some new, some here, some there. Anywho, behold my list of random things that grind my gears:

1. Thick girls. When are they going out of style? We non-plus-size, non-booty holders are ready to make a come-back!

2. Stores in the outlet mall that aren’t outlets. If I want regularly priced clothes, I’ll go to the regular mall.

3. Fast food employees that forget to put my sauce in the bag. Don’t forget the sauce for my chicken nuggets, or I’ll burn this place down.

4. Fat people who wear scrubs…….I’m judging you and so is the rest of the world.

5. Bartenders that ask for tips. I WAS going to leave you a tip on my credit card when I closed my tab, but now I’m just going to flip you a nickel, you greedy prick. In fact, I should crack your mofo forehead just for disrespecting me like that.

6. Bartenders that refuse to serve me because my California ID has a Maryland address. Lady, I will ruin your life tonight if you don’t fix that Jack and Coke like I asked you to. Word? The DMV wouldn’t print an ID like this? DO YOU WORK FOR THE CALIFORNIA DEPARTMENT OF MOTOR VEHICLES???

7. Female friends of my male roommate that would be in the bathroom in the morning when I’m trying to get ready for work. Ma’am, I need you to take your ho bath at home, I’m on a schedule here.

8. TSA officers that won’t let me take my non-liquid hair care products in my carry-on. Is this really a matter of national security, sir? You think I’m gonna grease somebody to death if they don’t give me command of the plane?

9. Humidity. I’m a Black girl with Black girl hair. The end.

10. People who chew with their mouths open and/or make noise when they eat.

11. Football season.

12. How the last half of my gas tank goes faster than a freshly broken twenty dollar bill.

13. Cat calls and lousy pick-up lines: “The color combination you have on would make good wedding colors.”

14. Children kicking and screaming, people coughing and sneezing, endless chatter, odorly elderly, sub-zero temperatures, overpriced snacks…….welcome to flight 556 with non-stop service to Los Angeles. 

15. My emotional rant during a black out this summer:

As if today couldn’t get any worse, the power just went out. No TV, no music, no phone charger. Just me alone with my thoughts. Scary. I often create distractions so I don’t have to focus on the things that take me out of my comfort zone, and to have them all stripped away without my consent has me feeling unglued. Sure there are other ways to occupy my time without the use of electronics, but all of the alternatives force me to think. Not to sound like the dumb-dumb who doesn’t wanna think and just wants to watch TV, but unfortunately for me, all I can think about is the one thing that I’m trying to escape. Even now as I’m writing, I’m subject to the captivity of my mind and what it can’t seem to stop talking about. How weird is that, considering this is supposed to be a way for me to constructively occupy my time and take my thoughts away from my troubles. Writing is therapeutic. Well, its supposed to be. I’m not feeling the healing. I’m feeling the manifestation of unwanted emotion. Its been about half an hour now, and I’m still without electricity. I’m still without power. No electricity. No power.

Random Rants: When at work, I may just…

I am so grateful to have my job, but I have to tell you, it certainly tries my patience some days…….most days. So, to get through my shift, I do and say things to help me cope with the stressors that are upper management. As such, below is a list of things I either do or think about doing to have some sense of personal satisfaction. When at work, I may just…

1. Eat your food out of the refrigerator. Not leftovers, only packaged food.

2. Pass gas in your office to speed up whatever conversation I don’t feel is necessary to my work day.

3. Keep the key to the thermostat locked in my desk so the fat chicks don’t freeze me to death.

4. Deposit any unwanted busy work into the shredder.

5. Tell the IT guy that you made derrogatory comments about his sexual preference in order to have my computer free from any website blocks.

6. Clock in, go to brunch, come back, and clock out.

7. Check your email to see how much ish you’ve been talking about me to the other duck in the office.

8. Direct anyone that I don’t want to be bothered with to your office and give them your email address.

9. Send you the “Stop sending me a reminder email telling me to do the same thing I’ve done every Monday since I’ve been here” email.

10. Pass notes to the person being interviewed to warn him of the trolls that dwell here.

11. Take frequent moron breaks to process the moronic activity I encounter throughout the day. This usually involves a walk to FroZen Yo and/or Target

12. Sign up for training classes that couldn’t be more irrelevant to my position in order to escape for a day.

13. Respond to the email you sent first thing this morning at the end of the day, on my way out the door. Let that be a lesson to you. Stop emailing me.

14. Take office supplies home that I’ll never use, just to spite you. When I get home, EVERYTHING is going to have a label on it thanks to my new labelmaker.

15. Spend my entire day, including overtime, blogging about why my job is the pits.

My Broom List

You’ve heard of a Bucket List, well allow me to introduce my Broom List: A list of things I want to do before I jump the broom. Most of the things on my list are things that I probably can do after I get married, but that I should take advantage of while I’m young and don’t have to answer to anyone but myself. When I get married (and have kids), I’m going to have my husband and children to answer to, and won’t always be able to put myself first. Wives and mothers have to make sacrifices to keep the family running as it should, because in my old-school mind, the wife and mother is what keeps order in the household. So before I make selfless sacrifices for the ones that I will love more than anyone else, I’m going to do me for a bit.

1. Have sex on a beach.

What is it about doing the wrong thing that intrigues people to do what they know will have less than favorable consequences? This is especially true when it comes to matters of sex. I can’t call it, but taboo sex is one sure way to make the experience not only memorable, but amazing. In my opinion, the best form of taboo sex would be lying on a warm beach under the moonlight with my beau. Sure it may sound cliche, but so is milk and cookies. Doesn’t mean I’m going to stop having milk and cookies to avoid the cliche.

2. Drop 10 pounds and get into Ciara shape.

Make no mistake, I may drink like a fish and eat like I’m storing up for the winter, but I’m no fatty. Granted, I’m still not in the best shape of my life either. So, before I walk down the aisle, before I put on gobs of pregnancy weight, before I get old, I’m going to drop a few pounds and tone up in hopes of looking like Ciara. Tall, lean, long-legged, and no booty. I think this could actually be done ina matter of 60 days if I actually focused and stayed consistent. At this point in my life I’m not obligated or committed to anyone, so if I want to look like a plain Jane or big mama, I’m allowed. Probably won’t get me very far, but the point is that I could if I wanted to. As a wife, you have a responsibility to be a hot piece of ass that any man would want to come home to. Period. Once I get there, my vanity will not allow me to stray away, and I’m just gonna have to maintain and preserve my sexy. 

3. Cut my hair.

It has been my experience that most (Black) guys never want you to cut your hair, and never want you to wear fake hair. They want you to have long, natural, uncolored and untainted hair. These same men have absolutely no clue what its like to maintain long, natural Black girl hair. That ish ain’t easy, fast or cheap. I’ve never been a fan of cutting my own hair anyway, but sometimes I get in these moods where I just want to do something outrageous. There may come a time where that feeling leads me to chop my mane.  If I’m going to ever weave it up (I won’t cuz weaves are gross), braid it up, chop it off, or color it pink, I’m going to make an effort to do it on my own time.

4. Take a cruise.

Maybe its just the men that I’ve dealt with, but it seems almost impossible to get a guy to go on a cruise with me. This is something I’ve wanted to do since college, but could never convince my guy to roll. To me, a cruise is something I could do with my girlfriend(s), but I’d rather do with a man.

5. Take (barely) nude photos.

There’s a little woman that lives inside of me that likes to believe she’s abstract. She likes art. She loves music, wine, dance, and theater. She’s an actress. She’s a poet. She’s a songstress. She likes tattoos. She’s not afraid to pose nude for pictures just for the heck of it, only to be seen by her own eyes. I’m not saying this chick has to die before I jump the broom, but she definitely has to tone down some things a bit. I can’t see the type of guy that I want to marry being ok with me taking my clothes off for anyone but him, whether in the name of art, , life, or Jerome. He don’t play that. Single me wants 2 more tattoos and wants to pose nude one more time, just for the heck of it. Married me will keep up the rest of the abstract activities, like writing poetry, going to see live bands, and art exhibits.

6. Retire from alcoholism.

Anyone who knows me or has ever read anything I’ve written knows that I’m a drunkaholic. I like to go out and drink, I like to stay in and drink, I like to wake up and drink. I drink when I’m happy, I drink when I’m sad, I drink when I’m bored. I drink to rid myself of headaches, cramps, the blues, and stress. I drink with company, I drink alone. I drink here, I drink there. I drink in a house, with a mouse, in a box, with a fox. I drink. To be quite honest, I want 4 or 5 children, and I’m absolutely terrifed. 36-45 months without a single sip of anything alcoholic scares the living crap out of me? Someone may want to give CPS a heads up, because I just don’t know if not drinking during pregnancy is a promise I can keep. I make light of all the drinking I do, because it looks worse than it actually is 😉 . Whether you believe that or not, I am aware that the heavy drinking will have to cease once I start that whole chold-bearing thing.

8. Get things right with the Big Guy.

In my opinion, I was brought up the right way. My parents instilled in me all of the good things that parents are supposed to from a moral and Biblical perspective. My brother and I were good kids, and we never got into major trouble. We could come and go as we please because my parents knew they could trust us, and because they put the fear of God and fear of beat downs in us. I decided to make some poor decisions and rebel a little once I reached adulthood, but that was my own doing, even though I knew better. I feel like my kids will be one step ahead of everyone else in life if they have the same religious values that I learned growing up. Even if you decide to stray away, those things mever go away, and you almost always revert back to them when in need, because you know they’ll never fail you. Certainly I’m not waiting until I get married to get my relationship with God where it ought to be, but I’m definitely going to have it solid before I welcome anyone else into my life.

Show and Tell

People are stupid. Most people don’t know what they want when it comes to most aspects of life. We want a Liberal President who has conservative views toward gay marriage. We spend obscene amounts of money to go to college and study the one think we will never make a career out of. We (they) want to believe that Kobe is the best player in the NBA, but because he’s arrogant, we cue our inner-band-wagon-jumpers and become Miami fans. Even if we do know what we want, we have a difficult time expressing it without upsetting the next person. 

This is especially true when it comes to matters of the opposite sex. A man wants a woman that makes good money, just as long as she isn’t making more than he is. A man wants a woman to shut the hell up and leave him alone, but then asks a million questions about the most intricate and ridiculous details of any friendship with another man. A man wants a woman that is a super freak, but only with him (I’ve never heard of a monogamous super freak). A woman wants a man to drive everywhere, but then wants to navigate his route. A woman wants a man to be a sensitive thug. A woman isn’t satisfied with all the things a man does to show he cares until he says, “I care.” Word?

 Well not me, folks. I want the Lakers to win EVERY year, I want hot sauce on my burrito, I want my President to play basketball, and I want my dude to show and tell.

Some are never satisfied if you show them how you feel without ever actually saying it. Some need to hear the words. Maybe I’m harder to please, because I want BOTH. All the time. It just seems logical to me. I’m never going to guess how you feel about anything, so I need to hear the words uttered from your mouth. I hate when my friends say things like, “You know he likes you” or “You know he cares about you”. Do I? Do you? How the hell do you know how this guy feels about me if he hasn’t told either one of us? Sure he does nice things for me, that’s what nice guys do. Doesn’t mean he has extended feelings for me. At the same token, if you’re telling me one thing, but your lack of action leaves me with nothing more than your words to go off of, then you’re not in great shape either. I can’t make myself believe that you like spending time with me if you never ask to spend time with me, or never take any initiative to try and do anything with me. Show me AND tell me. Every time. I hate guessing games, and I hate trying to read minds. Tell me what’s going on in your head, and then let your works eliminate any doubt I may have or try to develop.

I don’t even know if this post makes sense, as much as it is me venting, but here it is.

How Single is Single Really?

I was trying to explain to my mom the other day what my current “situation” is when she asked about my personal life. I told her that “I’m dating, but not in a relationship.” She said that was the dumbest thing she had ever heard of and it doesn’t make any sense. She then asked that what my status would be if I were in a relationship but not yet married. I told her that “I’d be…….dating?” In her 52-year old mind, dating means you’re seeing just one guy, and the two of you have made an agreement to only see each other, otherwise known as a relationship. Then I got to thinking, what does it really mean to be dating and single? I have a friend who has been in a committed consistent relationship for a few years now who always hits on me when he’s been drinking. Every time that I remind him he has a girlfriend, he reminds me that his tax return says single, and he is thus….single. The first time he said that, I almost fell out of my seat. Once I thought about it, he made perfect sense.

In my 25-year old mind, there are four stages you go through before you marry someone. First, you’re friends. Friendship is probably the most simplistic and comprehendable stage. Nothing serious, no obligations, no hard feelings if it doesn’t go any further. The next stage is what I like to call a datingship. A datingship is when two people are more than friends, but haven’t made a formal commitment. There are still no obligations or promises made, but there’s usually an understanding of exclusivity. This is probably the most dangerous of the stages, as both parties are more vulnerable and can easily be hurt. No rules in a datingship. The third stage is a relationship. A mutually exclusive understanding that each person is only to do, say, and feel romantic things with the other person who has made the same commitment. If all three stages are successful, then comes marriage. No explanation necessary.

This brings me back to the conversation about taxes. If you’ve yet to be married, you are legally single, regardless of the “dating stage” you may claim to be in. So if you’re purely single before you’re married, why do we even bother with a datingship or relationship? Why not just go from being friends to being engaged? My grandparents were never in a relationship. They were engaged for 7 days, and then were married for 52 years before my Granddaddy passed this June. As I’m reading this back to myself, it sounds pretty complicated. But what can I say, I’m a woman. I over-analyze matters of romance. I guess the question I’m asking is how wrong was my taxpaying friend for completely disregarding his girlfriend for a chance to have the best sex of his life with me if he hasn’t made the ultimate commitment to her? Does it matter if it’s not legal? Does it matter if it’s not before God? Can you cheat on someone if he/she isn’t your spouse? Surely, he already has these questions answered if he was still so persistent with me. I’d be a fool to say to generalize his thoughts and actions to say that most if not all men think this way, but I can’t help but think that most women would probably disagree with his rationale. I also can’t help but think that most would tell this guy he has no business being in a relationship if he doesn’t know how to be faithful.

I have an opinion developed, but I thought my mother’s question paired with my taxpaying friend’s statement would make for an interesting conversation.

Middle School Love: She Wants That Old Thing Back

It seems like with every relationship/datingship I’ve had with the exception of one or two, I’ve always had to take a step back and say, “It shouldn’t be this hard.” When you’re dealing with someone who you’re not meant to be with, you will always have to come to that realization, and then walk away. Not to say that lasting relationships with your soul-mate aren’t hard and don’t require work, but I’m a firm believer in kismet, and the idea that what will be will be. For me, the feeling of “It shouldn’t be this hard” usually comes when I start to over-analyze the small things to try and understand what he thinks or how he feels. I’ve learned that men sometimes aren’t the best communicators, and as women, we have to look for context clues to know what’s really going on from their perspective. I’m a ditz. I don’t pick up on clues very well, so I usually just end up walking away out of frustration and lack of communication from him. To me, it’s easier to just walk away than to try and convince myself that someone is interested or has certain feelings for me. Of course, this never plays out too well, and I usually end up having to go back, apologize, and find another alternative. Determining where to draw the line between protecting my own feelings and opening up to someone else is a pretty difficult task for me, and is probably the thing I struggle with the most. I remember a time when things were as black and white as I wish they could be today.

I got my very first boyfriend in the 7th grade at the I-know-everything-about-boys age of 12. Although our love lasted for about 2 weeks, it was pretty definitive. There were never any questions of how he felt about me, how much he liked me, if he still had feelings for his last girlfriend, nothing like that. I knew he liked me because he told me so. I knew he wanted to be with me because he asked me to be his girlfriend at lunch in front of all of our friends (we all had the same friends because with about 30% of the school made up of Blacks, everyone knew each other). I knew he wasn’t afraid to let the whole school know that we were together because he would hold my hand when we walked to class, and he’d carry my backpack. He always made me feel like the most beautiful girl in the world even though we dated during my awkward stage of dadolescence. The stage where I was learning to pluck my eyebrows and looked like I was constantly excited and yet depressed all at the same time. The stage where I had two little thimbles poking out of my shirt where my breasts would one day reside. The stage where I was the tallest, skinniest Black girl with braces and stood out of the student body like a hooker in church. At lunch, all of the boys would play basketball, and all of the girls would stand around the court and watch the boys play. When the bell rang for us to go our seperate ways, he would kiss me good-bye and hand me a love letter that he wrote in the period before lunch. At the winter dance, we danced to Case, Aaliyah, and Blackstreet, and knew that we’d always be together. He bought my soda, told me I was pretty, and when I told him that he smelled good, he told me that he wore his Michael Jordan cologne because he knew I liked it. We were in love. For the life of me, I still can’t remember why we broke up. Not that it matters, because he ended up dating one of my friends a few weeks later. But of course I didn’t care, because I was so over him.

Somewhere between 1997 and 2010, things got complicated. Dating got complicated. The letters stopped coming, the compliments were fewer and further between, and nothing was ever as certain or absolute. Now I’d be a complete fool to compare any of my adult relationships to my 7th grade love, but it makes me question how people go through life from one extreme and land at the other end of the spectrum. At what point does it become difficult to tell someone you have feelings for them or want to be with them forever, or that you wore her favorite cologne to make her smile? When did dating and relationships and love become a never-ending guessing game, where emotional inhibitions lead to failed relationships and going out on a limb will almost always result in a fall? The better question is how do we get that old thing back? When is it ok to show someone you love them without wondering what the reaction will be? When won’t it matter if you throw rocks at her bedroom window just for the opportunity to tell her how you feel? Why won’t she just go all in, balls to the wall without throwing caution to the wind? When do we go from “It shouldn’t be this hard” to “Is it really this easy?”