Posts Tagged ‘ random rants ’

Random Rants: When at work, I may just…

I am so grateful to have my job, but I have to tell you, it certainly tries my patience some days…….most days. So, to get through my shift, I do and say things to help me cope with the stressors that are upper management. As such, below is a list of things I either do or think about doing to have some sense of personal satisfaction. When at work, I may just…

1. Eat your food out of the refrigerator. Not leftovers, only packaged food.

2. Pass gas in your office to speed up whatever conversation I don’t feel is necessary to my work day.

3. Keep the key to the thermostat locked in my desk so the fat chicks don’t freeze me to death.

4. Deposit any unwanted busy work into the shredder.

5. Tell the IT guy that you made derrogatory comments about his sexual preference in order to have my computer free from any website blocks.

6. Clock in, go to brunch, come back, and clock out.

7. Check your email to see how much ish you’ve been talking about me to the other duck in the office.

8. Direct anyone that I don’t want to be bothered with to your office and give them your email address.

9. Send you the “Stop sending me a reminder email telling me to do the same thing I’ve done every Monday since I’ve been here” email.

10. Pass notes to the person being interviewed to warn him of the trolls that dwell here.

11. Take frequent moron breaks to process the moronic activity I encounter throughout the day. This usually involves a walk to FroZen Yo and/or Target

12. Sign up for training classes that couldn’t be more irrelevant to my position in order to escape for a day.

13. Respond to the email you sent first thing this morning at the end of the day, on my way out the door. Let that be a lesson to you. Stop emailing me.

14. Take office supplies home that I’ll never use, just to spite you. When I get home, EVERYTHING is going to have a label on it thanks to my new labelmaker.

15. Spend my entire day, including overtime, blogging about why my job is the pits.

Advertisements

Random Rants: In the Passenger Seat

1. I feel like u need to ask my permission to use the cigarette lighter in my car.

2. I feel like a man shopping for peanut butter when I go to buy a new toothbrush. I have to stare at the variety for a solid 3 minutes, knowing I’m going to end up getting the exact same thing I got last time and every other time. Soft, medium, spin, manual, purple, green, so many options!!!

3. How long can you REALLY ride on a donut? I’ve been on one for 6 weeks at a time

4. I CAN’T STAND when people tell me how to drive. That has to be in my top 5 list of things that will make me want to slit someone’s throat. Seriously. I’ll go the way I want, how fast I want, and will turn my blinker on/off when I want. I can navigate most of the metro are pretty well and require none of YOUR assistance.

5. I have the perfect remedy for the alcoholic that wants to go out and drink but has to work the next morning. Before the club, have a pb&j. On the way home, get some fries, but only from McDonalds.

6. Lil’ Wayne is still wack. I know that the masses will disagree, but that’s just how I feel. He’s wack and he looks like Gonzo. Will I continue to dance to his songs? Yes. Why? Because I’m an American.

7. Every policy has a loophole. I believe from the bottom of my heart that you can be a convicted child molester and get a job at a daycare facility. I also believe that a high school dropout can be President. So why would it be hard to believe that a regular gal like me can’t be a billionare blogger?

8. Before 2010 is over, I’m going take some pictures in the parking lot at CVS with an escalade and the words pimpin ain’t easy as my backdrop.

9. Keri Hilson’s ‘Slow Dance’ still makes me want to strip down and give the lap dance of my life. LOVE THAT SONG.

10. I can’t stand to hear people pop their gum. Sounds too much like chewing food, and I CAN’T STAND to hear and/or see people eat. Close your damn mouth.

11. Its always so interesting to see someone towering over me when I go out. I just expect to be the tallest woman there. Every time. I’m almost offended when a woman taller than me comes into the the places that I frequent the most. Who let YOU into MY club?

12. Anyone who knows me knows that I’m a party girl. However, each time I go out, I get closer and closer to retiring from the club scene. Could be the clubs, could be the company, could be that I’m just burnt out. Whatever the case, this is getting old and fast. And taking off make-up before I go to bed is a royal pain in the ass.

13. I really do love DC.

14. I feel like I’m getting close….

15. I need to find some people to go out with that are 10x more hype than I am. Its too much work being the go-to-party-all-the-time chick.

16. Its not called a cookout. Its a BBQ. That’s what you do. You BBQ. With BBQ sauce.

17. Other people still scare the shit out of me when they drive. For the most part, I’d rather drive wherever I go because I’m deathly afraid of not being in control of the car.

18. I’m going to go back and edit this entire blog so I can finally send my mom the link and show her what I’ve been talking about.

19. Thanksgiving in the Mexican Riviera? Sounds like a great idea to me. Let’s do it mom.

20. I sincerely believe that my granny and I are the most normal people in the world and everyone else is stupid.

21. California rolls do not apply merely to Californians. I’ve been out of California for 7 years and have witnessed several non-Californians neglect to come to a full and complete stop at all stop signs. What a rude label to put on the wonderful people of the Golden State.

22. I believe that if you always use the same soap, you’ll eventually be immune to it. I don’t have any proof of this, but it makes sense enough to me. For that reason, I like to switch my body wash up from time to time. I may start with Dove, go to Caress, venture over to St. Ives, and double-back at Oil of Olay. After all, who wants to be immune to Dove? That would suck.

23. Espn in 3D. No woman in America will ever be able to watch another reality TV show, go out to dinner, or have a conversation for more than 9 minutes with a man. Curse the no-sex-getting bitter man who came up with that idea.

24. Tampon commercials are still a very big deal.  It’s still just as uncomfortable to have one come on during the Family Guy commercial break, and they’re still just as embarassing and just as mortifying as they’ve always been. Period.

25. Chivalry isn’t dead, just different. At least it is on the East coast. I’m not worried about any stagecoaches running up onto the sidewalk, so you can walk on either side if you’d like. However, you can still get that ass over to my side of the car and open the door.

26. All California State employees are now earning minimum wage. Not even state, but federal minimum wage. Things are about to go from sugar to shit.

27. Write your congressmen, we gotta get these Asians off the road. Early, son.

28. “Men are a necessary evil.” Still haven’t developed an opinion about that statement yet.

29. That moment at work when you realize you forgot to put on deoderant is like when a hooker walks into church. All of a sudden, you think all eyes are on you.

30. I may have just passed on an opportunity that some would trade their first born child for, but what is in store for me will be, regardless of what I do or don’t do.

Random Rants: Take it From Me, Kiddo….

I still have a lot more living to do, but I’d like to think that in my 25 years I have experienced a few things that have raised questions, eyebrows, and discussion. This isn’t one of my lighter posts, because frankly, I’m having a bad fuckin day. I could go into details, but I’ll spare you in hopes that you’ll return for the next post. I digress. So here’s a list of a couple things that I’ve been thinking about that weren’t worthy of their own individual posts:

1. If you don’t want to offend me, please don’t offer me the things that you think taste delicious, that are in fact bizarre and disgusting. This includes, but is not limited to: YOUR macaroni & cheese, YOUR potato salad, anything curry (it looks gross), any meat that’s not chicken, turkey, or beef (especially goat), chicken strips without dipping sauce, and anything that has the consistency of custard (i.e. flan). Take it from me kiddo, I will offend you, yo mama, yo Aunt Debbie,  and anyone else who tries to serve me such foolishness.

2. Maybe you shouldn’t get wasted if you don’t intend on giving your gal your ex-girlfriend’s number to text at 4am. Take it from me kiddo, you’re setting yourself up for some unwanted banter between your ex and your new gal (If your new gal is REALLY diggin you, she may even let this one slide).

3. If you find yourself going through a time in your life where you feel things can’t possibly get any worse, have a drink and write it down. Take it from me kiddo, it will make coping so much easier.

4. Lately when I’ve gone out, I’ve seen some pretty outrageous attire and/or accessories that should be outlawed. For example, please leave your bike shorts, measuring tape, crutches, and overly-popped-to-display-your-designer-logo collars at home. Take it from me kiddo, you look like a baffoon.

5. Do NOT grab my thigh when I’m walking down the street, and then call me a dumb bitch because I told you to get your fuckin hands off of me.   ESPECIALLY in front of the police station, and ESPECIALLY if you don’t want me to call my daddy. Take it from me kiddo, you will surely get fucked up.

6.  The anticipation of waiting for the green light on your phone to light up is intoxicating. Whether you’re waiting for a call, text message, or IM, when it’s from the one that you want to hear from the most, that little light will drive you bananas. We even put our phones in our pockets/purses/cases, so we aren’t taunted, but that never lasts long. You always “think” you felt it vibrate and have to check it again. Take it from me kiddo, either turn that light off or take the battery out.

7. The next time you should happen to visit The Cheesecake Factory, do not order cheesecake. Order the strawberry shortcake. Take it from me kiddo, that shit will change your life.

8. Dating is never out of style. By dating, I mean planning and going on a date. It makes a woman feel much less like a nag when her beaux initiates and puts thought into an outing for the two of them. Quiet nights at home are always nice, but every now and again, it’s a great idea to treat her to a night (or day) out that doesn’t include a routine activity or venue. Something that shows there was some thought put into the planning especially for her based on what you know she likes.  Is it corny? Maybe. Take it from me kiddo (and by kiddo, I’m referring especially to the one that I had this conversation with recently. You know who you are, you dumb boy, you), take her on a date. She’ll always remember it.  

9. I’d like to add a ninth and tenth to the list, but my mind can’t seem to fathom more than eight. So, the end.

Skinny Jeans Should be the Least of Your Worries….

As we enter a new decade, I thought it would be fun to try and guess what some of the new fads and trends will be. Some of the items listed are my attempt at humor. Some, I whole-heartedly believe will come to pass. Feel free to leave a comment with something you’d like to add to the list. Or don’t. Its your prerogative, Bobby Brown.

1. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: Wine is going to be the new official liquor of the hip-hop community very soon. Time to buy some stock in Yellow Tail and Woodbridge.

2. Men’s popular fashion is getting gayer and gayer. Soon enough, its going to be pretty standard to see a straight guy walking down the street with pearls in his ears. That’s right, pearls. Pearls will be as big as throwback jerseys were in 2001.

3. I went to a club in LA when I was in high school, and the guys who were gettin all the panty points were grinding across the floor and on their heads, all while wearing cowboy boots. Its my prediction that men’s cowboy boots will be the new Pradas.

4. Penis rings. Probably made of pearls. No homo, but…..homo, indeed.

5. Remember when everyone made a song or a portion of their song was about getting their hair braided? Nah, boo, I’m not gonna braid your hair. I’m gonna wave your hair. Fingerwaves.

6. They may still be wearing gucci shades, but please believe they’re going to have a beaded lanyard on them like my granny’s do.

7. Long gone are the days when terms of endearment between men included ‘fam’, ‘jo’, ‘young’, ‘B’, ‘son’, ‘my nig’, ‘cuz’, ‘chief’, etc. You can go ahead and replace the aforementioned with terms like, ‘muffin’, ‘boo’, ‘tiger’, ‘niño’, ‘cowboy’, and ‘biscuit’.

8. Young men will no longer glorify movies like Scarface, The Godfather, New Jack City, Casino, or The Mack. Instead, you’ll see young fellas reciting lines from Sweet Home Alabama, Madea’s Family Reunion, Sex and the City, or maybe a song from Rent or Chicago.

9. Basketball? No way……Ok maybe that’s a stretch. Niggas will forever love basketball.

10. GM, Land Rover, and Daimler-Chrysler will all lose their presence in Urban America. No more Chevys, Cadillacs, Chargers, or Range Rovers. Fahgetaboutit mang. Say hello to the wonderful world of Minis, Smart Cars, and restored Astro vans.

11. No more videos shot on the block or in the club, poolside or courtside, in the studio or behind a blank white background (since everyone’s video today looks the same as the next man’s plain white background video) Nah, cowboy. We takin it to Bollywood and belly dancing class. Welcome to the winery, bitch. What? You can’t respect my gangsta on a hayride through the pumpkin patch or apple orchard?

12. Iced-out watches will be a thing of the past. The future lies in slap bracelets. Shooting dice is for losers. Whoopin ass with a Smurf slammer and takin everyone’s pogs is where its at.

13. Boxer-briefs and boxers will surely be replaced with that thong-thong-thong-thong-thong. “Good for circulation and prevents saggy balls.” Oh, and Sisqo’s Unleash The Dragon will begin to sell as many millions as Tupac’s greatest hits did even 10 years after his death.

14. The same households that have George Foreman Grills will now have Breadmakers. That’s right. We bakin bread, muffin.

15. Jay-Z’s presence in young Black America will be replaced by Michael Buble. Think about it. Jay-Z idolizes Frank Sinatra. Who else in 2010 is more reminiscent of Frank Sinatra than Michael Buble? I have the answer. The answer is nobody. Makes sense.

Random Rants: On Me

1. Even at the age of 24, I’m still terrified of things that most girls get over by the time they start stuffing their bras. Just to name a few…….

  • I hate the dark. When I’m sleeping alone, I sleep with my TV on every night, because a night light just won’t do. If I watch something disturbing, (especially true stories) like Ray (the whole flashback of the brother drowning scene gives me the creeps), Antwone Fisher, or The Dorothy Dandridge Story, I have to put in a cartoon or comedy before I go to sleep so I won’t have nightmares 🙂
  • Escalators. Especially fast and/or high escalators. I almost bit it at the mall yesterday because I second-guessed my step, trying to make sure that my foot didn’t land on the crack.
  • The evil witch, Maleficent of Disney’s “Sleeping Beauty”

 

2. I have FINALLY chosen a career path, to be disclosed at a later date…..

3.  If life were my man, blogging would be my Splackavellie. I particularly enjoy the works of  Brandon St. Randy and Jozen, especially in theroot.com. They’re pretty dope.

4. I’m still learning how to be a “girlfriend.” Not a girlfriend to a man, but to other women. Not in a homosexual way, but more of a Sisterhood of the Traveling Ya-Ya Pants(?) kind of way. I’ve slowly begun to remove the pad of insensitivity from my shoulder, and have exposed it to the weeping eyes of my girlfriends, who typically use it to cope with their (failing) relationships.

5. Recently, I chastised Jay-Z and the rest of the hip-hop world for lacking originality, individuality, respect for the craft, substance, and accountability. i like the approach that Jozen took in his article, “Why Jay-Z Should Rap About Marriage.”

6. What is it about long hair, whether natural or synthetic, that men love so much? Seriously? I’m not judging anyone and I’m not burning Kanekalon and pumping my fist to india.arie’s “I Am Not My Hair”, I would just really like to know…..

7. I remember a time when ‘Rock, Paper, Scissors’ settled even the most heated debate. I didn’t learn until just recently that there’s no ‘bulldozer’ in ‘Rock, Paper, Scissors’. I’m finding out that my older brother made up a lot of things in order to win at everything. I almost lost my life at a spades table because of him.

8. On my quest to drop a few pounds, I lost in the place where I least desired shrinkage- my breasts. How tragic! I wish I could’ve had an out-of-body experience at the very moment that I was standing naked in front of the bathromm, cupping my breasts, and asking my reflection, “What have you done?!” I may still be a DD, but it’s definitely not as solid as it was 4 weeks ago. That hurt.

9. When describing a friend to potentially impose upon me to date, a co-worker described him as being “Cute for a Black guy.”………. I decided not to lose my job that day.

10. I’m falling more and more in love with myself as each day goes by. Egotistical? Not so much. If you understood where I was, and how far I’ve come, you’d think twice before giving me such a label.

11. I’ve wondered if men have a sense comparable to a woman’s intuition.

12. The more I listen to the radio, watch TV, movies and YouTube clips, the more I wonder why I’m not a millionaire yet. Soon come.

13. I am one of the clumsiest people I know. As I dropped the gas pump on my foot, and began to curse that heavy piece of shit, I could see everyone waiting at the light chuckling at my less than graceful mishap. “Only me!” Oh, but it doesn’t stop there my friends. Other than your normal tripping over my own two feet, I’ve also been known to run into walls, doors, poles, parked cars, small children, and invisible (yes, invisible) objects. I’ve smothered someone’s white Sunday best with nacho cheese, head-butted a man when going in for a kiss, and I’ve even slapped my mother in the face in an effort to high-five her. Did i mention that I fall? A lot?

14. I never realized how much I’m like my mother until this phone conversation:

Me: Hey, mom. I remember talking to you last night, but i was out of it. What were you calling for?

(Long silence…..)

Mom: I called you?

We both just started cracking up. I have phone conversations when I’m halfway to R.E.m. because that’s what my mom does. I fall asleep in most movies, because my mom does. I have a sharp, sarcastic tounge, you guessed it! Just like mom. But there’s no other way I’d rather be, than just like my mom.

Random Rants: On Everything

Here are the thoughts I had throughout the course of the day. Please be advised that these are just my thoughts, and are not law, nor advice, and they are subject to change by the minute.

1. I hope all the little white girls whose racist, Republican parents took them out of school so they wouldn’t have to hear President Obama’s speech on education grow up to marry Lil’ Trey Trey, complete with his Jordans, spinning wheels, and remote-controlled lamborghini chain hanging from his neck. I hope they have 8 black, ashy babies, 1 of whom is gay, who all start a movement to have Harvard University renamed, “Tupac Amaru Shakur University.”

2. Is it rude to say to a homeless man, “Hi, how are you?” I wasn’t trying to be rude or insensitive, that’s just how I greet everyone when I’m walking down the street. There happen to be quite a few homeless people in the street.

3. Take a risk. What’s the worst that could happen? You fail? So what. Get big.

4. Stop eating meat or you’re going to die.

5. Thursday night…..blame it on the Goose.

6. America sucks for not memorializing the anniversary of Hurricane Katrina like 9/11. That’s bullshit.

7. Anyone who says President Obama is the anti-christ is the devil.

8. Jay-Z is the devil. He is going to hell. Are you going with him? I hope he can get it right before Jesus comes back. I’d also like to mention that Jay-Z has fallen into the same category of rappers that he says is responsible for the death of hip-hop.

9. People who say they join greek fraternities or sororities for networking purposes are stupid.

10. People who join greek fraternities or sororities are stupid.

11. I’ve got work to do. I’m on my way….

12. I think I offended a gay man yesterday by offering to give him $2 when the cashier at Starbucks wouldn’t break his 100. I think he thought I was coming on to him. Guess you just can’t be nice to people in 2009.

13. Don’t chastise me for calling that middle-aged woman with her breasts hanging out, hollering at her baby daddy on her phone with a Lil’ Wayne ringtone ghetto. That bitch is ghetto! You don’t think we should say things like that in front of white people……? What, you don’t think they noticed?!

14. Why are greek organizations greek? Why not Latin or Hebrew?

15. Speaking of Greek, did you know that Jesus spoke Greek? Yep, it’s true. Read.

16. Women shouldn’t have certain jobs that are intended for men. I hate to see women police officers, construction workers, boxers/wrestlers, and especially sideline commentators. If we had a female President, I’d move to Afghanistan. Don’t let Tyra Banks have you singing, “I am woman, hear me roar!” Yeah, she has fortune and fame, but she always talks of having a family…..Go raise your kids, career woman. You may as well be a dead-beat dad. It takes a special kind of woman to work and be a great mom. They’re usually not the ones trying to prove that they can do everything men can. Know your role, and shut your mug!

17. Did everyone forget about Bush?! Why aren’t we stoning him???? Stop heckling my President during his speech, you racist S.O.B. Instead, grab your torch and pitch fork, and let’s go to Texas!

18. Please turn your ipod down before you attempt to speak to me. You’re hollering, sir.

19. Stop believing everything people tell you and/or have told you. Even your mother lies to you. Read a book. Hell, read two.

20. I’ve decided not to go to grad school. I don’t want the debt, it’s going to take too long, and my experience in college taught me that I can be more successful than everyone else without going to college. I have the internet and a library card. And God. I got accepted to “The Mecca of Black Education”, a school that people would give their pinky toe in exchange for admission without submitting my application on time, and without ever submitting an admissions essay. If it’s for me, I’ll have it.

21. Damn, Dad. That was selfish. You have to stop that. Consult your wife….she’s smarter than you are.

22. Why would you want to burn a bridge with ME? You’re gonna miss me when I’m gone.

23. Why don’t Muslims eat pork? Isn’t it because pigs are filthy creatures who eat slop? If that’s the case, why do they eat fish? Fish swim and eat where they defacate. Sometimes they eat their own feces. Do Muslims eat fish?

24. If I see one more Mexican baby screaming in Target, I’m going to call Immigration.

25. My dog does not play well with others. Let little Toodles come greet my dog if you want to, but understand that Toodles will surely die.

26. U Street never fails me. Teenage boys as gay as a parade, screaming crackheads, church choirs singing on the corner, musical instruments being played in exchange for a bite to eat, cheating spouses, good food, diverse culture, theological debates amongst the homeless. DC is great.

27. Nothing angers me more than when homos compare their struggle for equality with that of Blacks in America.

28. Thank God for Jesus.

29. My dog is going to buy me a house.

30. You’re right, men are simple. Men are simplistic, and women are over-analytical, which believe it or not, can create a hinderance for effective communication. Women write long, detailed, drawn-out e-mails and letters to their love interest or significant other. Men write a few sentences with everything they feel you need to know. When women want attention, they devise a plan to fool you with trickery in order to get a rise out of you. Men say two words that they know will get you worked up. Women go back and forth between styles, colors, and cuts of underwear to put on every single day. Men wear what’s clean…..sometimes. When women feel they’ve been hurt, they’ll cry, talk about it, consult their friends, and reconcile. Men just leave. Women talk about getting in shape and losing weight for years. Men just do it. Women want to be romanced. Men want sex….and food. Women will try to define an “unofficial relationship” based on how long they’ve been having sex. If men don’t clearly state that they’re in a relationship, they’re not going to behave like they are, regardless of what they tell you. Women thrive off of confrontation because it gets men to talk and express their feelings. Men avoid confrontation like they avoid fat girls. It makes sense. You just have to find a happy medium, which is as hard as Chinese arithmetic.

31. We get it, you’re gay. Take the flag down.

32. Why is everyone so hung up on the sexuality of celebs? Tyler Perry, Will Smith, Eddie Murphy, MJ, Queen Latifah, Diddy??? Who the hell cares? Their sexuality aint doin shit for you, and it’s not going to make them any less rich or successful. Let them live.

33. So what if Rick Ross was a C.O.? That nigga had to eat too. We glorify hustling so much that we forget that those who are true hustlers, (not the ones rappin about it) probably wouldn’t if they didn’t have to. Which brings me to my position on the Hip-Hop world, which because it has such a huge influence on my generation, deserves it’s own section in my blog:

34. If I hear another rapper and/or singer use the words swag, hustler, grown, VIP, independent, rims, black card, baller, diva, stunt, I/we run, Patron, Nuvo, paper, or rhyme models with bottles, or Gucci with Louis, I will surely lose it.

35. I’m curious as to what the new official liquor of the hip-hop commmunity will be after Patron, Ciroc, and Nuvo fade out. I’m hoping for Gentleman’s Jack. Maybe they could call it ‘Gentle Jack’. Nah, that’s gay.

36. If you don’t think Lil’ Wayne is beginning to fall off, you’re sadly mistaken. You can only be in outter space for so long before you have to come back down for air.

37. I’ll respect an artist when they stop rhyming about making it rain, and start rhyming about interest-bearing savings accounts.

38. Stop supporting artists who aren’t doing shit to help anyone other than themselves. Download! Download! Download! Why am I going to give you money and support your dreams of becoming a millionaire only for you to rap about how you can afford everything that I can’t? Mmmm, I’m good.That doesn’t do shit for me. And when I say this, I am not referring to the up and coming artists trying to break into the industry. Support them. But once they get there, demand more from them. If an artist contributes in some way to others less fortunate than themselves, I’m all for it. If not, what’s the purpose of you putting money in their pocket?

39. If you think Drake is going to be the one to revive hip-hop, you should probably jump off of a bridge. What makes him so different? His delivery? Ok, whatever, he’s still talking the same bullshit that everyone else is talking.

40. If you’re not up on Pac Div, you need to be. Period. And don’t steal from them, give them your money.

41. If you’re still debating whether Jay-Z or Lil’ Wayne is the better lyricist, please go buy a Stevie Wonder album. Who cares who’s better, the two of them along with 98% of commercial artists talk about the same thing. So what’s the real debate? Whose rhymes are more clever, witty, and thought-provoking, or who says it the best way? I’ll give you a hint, it’s not the former.

Random Rants: Thoughts while walking the dog

Just a bunch of thoughts that I was rolling around in my head this morning. Some correlate, some don’t. Don’t feel compelled to read it, it’s not thought-provoking. Just….random.

1. Don’t pray and ask God for something if you’re not going to take full advantage of it when he gives it to you. (I.e. Don’t pray for a job and then complain about the long hours)

2. Today is a good day to tell your parents you love them.

3. Mom’s are always right. They really know what’s best for you and always have your best interest in mind.

4. “After sex, men are tired, sleepy, and hungry. The same symptoms of an allergy attack.”-from a book I’m reading.

5. I sometimes act like a 24-year old, and sometimes I can be a little sensitive. It’s ok, I’m a 24-year old woman.

6. There’s no better feeling than when your dad tells you he’s proud of you.

7. PRIORITIES! PRIORITIES! PRIORITIES!

8. Seems like everyone my age is jumping the broom. I still can’t even imagine taking that leap yet. I think I’ve already met my future, I just don’t know that it’s him.

9. A guy complimented me yesterday when I was walking my dog down the street. Nothing raunchy or degrading. Just a very simple and genuine compliment. And then he left it at that. Wasn’t tryna holla and didn’t even really seem interested. That was nice.

10. I’m expecting to make some big moves in the very near future.

11. My dog is the shit. Period.

12. I’m so happy to have met Jerica Shackleford. I can identify a little better with her than some of my other friends on this side of the world. I don’t have to filter or censor myself. I can just be me. I think I found a new life-long friend.

13. If we all could learn to communicate effectively, we’d all be so much happier.

14. It’s nice to connect with old friends. Big up to facebook!

15. I wonder what my mom was like when she was my age. My mom is gorgeous.

16. I don’t care what anyone says, I think I sing pretty well. Not well enough to win a reality show or land a record deal, but I think I’m pretty good. And I love to do it.

17. I wonder what my life would be like if I actually completed something that I set out to do. Does that mean I have commitment issues?

18. I’m not deep. Not really creative. I have no talent. Not as funny as others. And I’m still the shit.

19. Men are weird.

20. Most of the time it’s ok to buy the generic brand. Other times, you should go for what you know.

21. I wonder how much different high school would have been if my parents believed in buying me Jordans, a 2-way pager, and all the other stupid, material stuff that makes kids feel accepted.

22. Why am I eating things when I don’t know what’s in them? I’m going to start reading labels more often. Trust no one.

23. I’m all grown up. Wow.

24. It’s nice to see the spoiled brats of Howard University get some balls.

25. I don’t like certain groups of people to include: Loud, ghetto black people; Asians that don’t know how to walk through the mall or drive; White people who say dumb shit about Obama because they want to see him fail; Men who wear skinny jeans; Men who walk more feminine than I; Women who hate other women because they’re insecure; The pretentious; Those who try to run the lives of others and don’t know shit; The non-readers; The judgemental; The uncouthe; Nasty old men; Those who feel they have something to prove. There, I said it.

26. Seriously??!! WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING WHEN I STARTED MESSING WITH YOU?! EWWW!!!!

27. What’s for lunch?

28. I love my co-workers. They’re awesome.

29. Thank God for Jesus.